Before I dive into this post I’d just like to thank everyone for their kind words of support after I announced that I had to take a break from blogging. It’s great to know that their are people out there that have your back.
I should also apologise in advance as this post is something of a rant…
“Just one more piece of straw Mr. Camel, I promise”
CRACK!
“Oops. Mr. Camel are you alright? Mr. Camel?…Marc?”
I‘m a patient guy, really. I’ve been online since 1996 – not literally, that would be kind of unhealthy – the majority of that time spent playing various online games. Needless to say I’ve had to put up with a lot of crap and as a result I’ve developed a thick skin. Not to mention the fact that I’ve been trained to balance myself, to stay calm and move from centre. What I’m trying to say is that it takes quite a bit to snap my elastic band these days.
Yesterday it snapped.
As per my habit I logged into GMail yesterday morning to note that I had a ‘contact form submission’ from this site.
“Probably someone complimenting my site.” I thought “Or pointing out an error…though maybe it’s someone looking to hire me.”
Alas it was another one of these:
xxxxxxxxx () wrote:
Hi,
We are designing templates, banners, logos or headers, mascot designs for your
website as a promotional measure we just want links for us from your website.
Please get back to us with details If you are interested.
Warm Regards
xxxxxxxxx Webmaster.
IP: omitted
Referer 1: http://collectiveinkwell.com/an-exclamation-point-is-like-a-promise/
Page visited 1: http://welshscribe.co.uk/
Page visited 2: http://welshscribe.co.uk/contact-me/
Normally these go straight into the bin, whereupon the gods of GMail will exact their vengeance and smite them from existence..albeit in thirty days time.
But no, not this one. This is me getting back to them with details.
5 Reasons Why This Request is Epic Fail
1. First of all the grammar is pretty weak. Not the worst I’ve seen but still, you are trying to appeal to someone striving to make a living out of writing here but you didn’t really know that did you. No, for here’s my second point.
2. Absolutely no interest in this site at all. The only thing you are after is a link. I mean take a look at the pages visited; home page then contact page. You didn’t even take the time to look around! I’m not even going to start on how impersonal the body of the message is because here’s the real kicker…
3. You think I’m going to link to a site without checking it out. Yeah ok..oh wait I can’t YOU HAVEN’T PROVIDED A LINK TO YOUR OWN SITE! Even the email address you used was a GMail one, a free service that anyone can sign up for…
What do you think that says to me? So I can’t see what I’m linking to even if I could link to it. Surely there’s a reason why I should though, right?
Wrong.
4. No incentive whatsoever. No free website review, no discount should I wish to employ your services. Nothing. What’s in it for me? A perfectly legitimate question I think which brings me to my next point.
5. No reciprocal link offer. Now maybe, just maybe you’ve already linked to my site but well I kindly refer you to point number 3 above.
I seriously doubt it however. As I said, no incentive. Where are the statistics for your website? What kind of traffic can I expect to see as a result of having a link to my site from yours? Forgot to include them? No it’s because the analytics software can’t find your site!
All of this speaks volumes about the kind of “business” you run, so in conclusion why on Earth would I want to work with you let alone send others your way?
Since link building is incredibly important and is the cornerstone of every successful SEO strategy I’ll leave you with this.
The Real Secret to Building Links
Create content worth linking to.
Cheers,
Marc
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey, why the hell is MY URL in their spam? And offering services we freaking offer, no less! The nerve!
I was wondering about that, whether or not you two had the same email from the same person.
Scared of the competition or are your pants wet from laughing so hard
If it wasn’t so awful, it would be almost… cute – in that there is a naieve charm, a complete absence of guile in stating that they want links.
They should still be burninated however. That is all. ;o)
Emma Newman’s last blog post..Confession
I’m still going to line them up against the wall along with those reality TV directors and PR types you mentioned
I always roll my eyes when I get these.
One time a guy was offering me SEO services, so I decided to check out his site. It was fugly. Unprofessional. And he wanted me to spend LOTS OF MONEY on his services. So I sent him an emailed reply that gave him the exact spiel he gave me, except I offered to make his site look professional.
He never got back to me.
Hayden Tompkins’s last blog post..Celebrating Awesome: Lindsey Kay!
Lol Hayden. Nice one. Maybe I should offer this guy my writing services for crafting a better email.
YES!!
Hayden Tompkins’s last blog post..Celebrating Awesome: Lindsey Kay!
I think I received that exact same e-mail.
It’s way lame. I just delete it.
Bamboo Forest – PunIntended’s last blog post..The Art of Practicing What You Preach When You’re a Blogger
There’s a word for people like those, and it starts with A*****E.
I’ve had similar, and deleted them. The hide of the spammers to go through a site such as Collective Inkwell and spam commenters! At least they had good taste in sites…..
It really shows that they have no idea how google works. Random links from unrelated sites don’t rank highly for SEO. Go write your content and get your links the same way the rest of us do – by earning them.
*heads off to write a post that links to Welsh Scribe, Collective Inkwell, Emma, Hayden and Bamboo Forest…*
Melinda’s last blog post..Monthly Book Giveaway – Becoming an Online Business Manager
Marc, you’re making me think violent thoughts…I love Hayden’s technique – that’s brilliant! I’ll file that away for when my blog is big enough to get spammed! I couldn’t agree more with Melinda. It seems that all of the offensive marketing out there on line is just people trying to jump the queue – get somewhere without the effort. Blek!
Emma Newman’s last blog post..Confession
The Welsh Dragon’s back and breathing fire – yay!! Thank you, silly spammer, for that at least.
I got the exact same email, Marc, so they must have just trawled the Inkwell’s boxes.
janice’s last blog post..A Patchwork Post: Authenticity Quotes, Book Giveaway Winners, Link Love and Spiritual Pioneering
*Says a little prayer for being spared from mindless spammers*
Glad to see you back to blogging Marc!
Samar’s last blog post..When paper works better than a word processor
I received the same exact email. Clearly, it’s being blasted around the web. I get lots of these idiotic link requests, as I’m sure other people do too. Most come from SEO companies located in Third World countries who not only don’t understand how linking should work but also lack English writing skills.
Just delete these requests. They’re not any more worthy of your anger or your time than spam offering organ enhancement (at least those emails are sometimes amusing).
As for the mention of Collective Inkwell, it would appear that’s how the spammer found your blog. You must have a link on Collective Inkwell, perhaps from a comment you made.
That’s right Susan, idiotic is an apt term
A couple of things I didn’t realise at first:
1) There’s a box on the contact form that specifically asks for a web URL
2) The form has a “captcha” preventing it from being automatically filled in, or as much as possible I mean it won’t stop the old copy ‘n’ paste.
There’s someone out there going from site to site just filling out forms. Brings a whole new meaning to sad.
Freelance job bidding sites posts “jobs” that pay people practically nothing to fill out these forms. So, while it is sad, the person who actually filled out the contact form is probably just trying to earn a living and is fulfilling the job requirement. Whoever posted the job and is paying almost nothing for this type of link building strategy is the one who is truly “sad”.
Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..How to Edit and Delete Facebook Applications
Wow, Kim I had no idea. They truly do that – I mean what’s their goal? To get people to email them back?
The mind truly boggles.