photo courtesy of diP
There is only one secret and it’s not much of one at that, though the number of people who just don’t get it would make you think otherwise. When it comes to networking there’s only one thing you need to do.
Be useful.
That’s it. All there is to it. If you’re useful then people will remember you, if they remember you they will come to you.
Not as easy as it sounds though. In this day and age everyone wants to solve everyone else’s problem. People have come to expect the help, some even demand it. Furthermore they know why you’re being useful; it’s good networking right?
Stop Being Selfish
Wrong. Being useful to get more business is not the way to do it. Rather you want to be useful because it helps someone in need.
If you think about it in terms of your business then you are going to limit yourself. Everything you write from blog posts to comments will become a pitch for you and your services. Giving in order to receive is just plain selfish.
What Goes Around Comes Around
Your best approach is to be useful without any expectation for getting anything in return. The universe will do the rest.
Do you comment on blogs just to say thanks or because you contribute to the conversation? Do you make the time for those comments or are you too caught up with writing your next blog post?
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Very, very well said Marc. Great food for thought there.
I have heard it recommended that one way to get your name known is to comment on ‘A List’ blogs. Hence why you see so many “Great Post” comments that really contribute nothing to the post or the conversation. It doesn’t work. Go out there and be authentic.
Besides, commenting on other people’s blogs is a great way to procrastinate writing that next blog post!
Melinda’s last blog post..Monthly Book Giveaway – “Purple Cow” and “The Dip” by Seth Godin
Agreed Mel.
Don’t get me wrong, a pat on the back is always nice to have but it’s not the same as seeing your blog post spark a great discussion. Plus it’s not really that useful. For one thing you’re not going to be remembered for making “Great post” comments and the link you leave behind is probably tagged as nofollow anyway.
Spot on, Marc! I’ll never forget that you and I met in a comments box. I saw you there regularly, supporting, discussing, praising, referring to points other commenters had made. It’s people like you who turn blogs into communities. My blog’s new so I have no reason not to reply to each person who comments, and to be honest, that’s the difference for me between writing and blogging. Writing my longer pieces is something I do primarily for me, and for the audience the newsletter expects me to reach. Blogging, as I see it, is for connection, community building, spontaneity, marketing with integrity and mutual support. I haven’t been commenting long, and maybe I’m just being naive, but I like when bloggers take a moment to acknowledge their commenters, even if it’s just with a @ and one line. I wish Big Hitters would use a general sign off box before they post the next day’s post saying Thanks to everyone who’s commented so far on this post; I can’t reply to everyone individually but I do read all of them.
Although I think Comment Luv is a great invention, I also fear it’s done some damage; some people are genuine supporters of a blog but may only have the time to say “Well done -nice one!” but take the time to do it to boost their friends’ comments numbers, while others say “great post!” every single day just to have their own posts showing. It’s a tricky one. I prefer to think of Comment Luv as a great win/win though. (Even though it doesn’t Luv me! Your box down below keeps telling me that I need 2 posts to receive the luv and offers me the option of trying again when my feed is refreshed or choosing a different post to show . I don’t even know what refreshing my feed means!Help! she whimpers…)
Janice, you’ve struck another important note I didn’t really address here.; this process takes time.
Yes we have our own schedules to keep and yes it’s nice to be acknowledged even in 3 words or less, but over time those posting for their own sake will eventually disappear into the folds while the true contributors will still be around even if it is just to say “thanks”.
As for Comment Luv, have you registered your site with commentluv.com? Your feed should automatically refresh when you make a new post at the very least, not sure why it’s not working for you. Drop me an email if you like.
Janice, have your Feedburner feeds recently been transferred over to Google? (Google bought out Feedburner) if so then you need to update Comment Luv. The feeds on your site are working fine – I checked – it’s just Comment Luv that’s not picking you up.
There are a couple of blogs that I have stopped commenting on simply because I never received a single reply. I don’t expect a site owner to reply to literally every comment, however they need to show up in the comments fairly regularly.
Melinda’s last blog post..Monthly Book Giveaway – “Purple Cow” and “The Dip” by Seth Godin
Thanks both of you guys.
I’m going to try uninstalling then reinstalling Comment Luv, Melinda, thanks for the suggestion. This is exactly what I mean about good , supportive, friendly people making the ‘boxes below’ a good place to be.
Marc, I went over to the Comment Luv site like you suggested. I contacted the actual creator of Comment Luv and was stunned at the speed of his reply and his helpfulness. I actually spoke to him on the phone, too. Lots of ideas to check but sadly they all point to google and feedburner as being the source of the problem. Or, even more scarily, that my tulips take too long to load…But it must be meant for a reason. No idea what, but I’ll figure it out.
I read about 10 different blogs a day but only comment on a few of them. Your post caused me to ask myself why I c0mment on some but not others.
I think for me it’s mainly “what Janice said.” If a blogger is warm, friendly, has a sense of humor and shows evidence of reading his or her comments, then I am more apt to leave a comment. The blogger, through his words, has created a sense of an online neighborhood.
Many times, as someone who loves to write, I see a post as a writing prompt. It causes me to think about something in a new way, or causes me to actually think about something in the first place! Having the itch to write, I then leave a comment rather than going home to write my own full blown post.
It’s not only the blogger though who makes a blog welcoming. It is the other commenters. Many times, Marc, on other blogs, you have had me laughing, or have responded to my comments. It’s that kind of commenter that is useful too—someone who doesn’t rely just on the blogger to make everyone feel welcome. You help make it feel like “family.”
Randi’s last blog post..Shyness in a Nutshell
@Janice I’ve found the comment luv support to be great but to give you phone support as well, that’s just awesome.
@Randi Wow. Thanks for the kind words. I’ve long thought that the blog author makes up for only half of the equation as well. Without a community of commenters maintaining a blog can become very lonely.
Great post. Seriously, though, for anyone who’s been on the receiving end of someone just greeting them in order to get their pitch in, it’s pretty much obvious. I joined Direct Matches about a month ago, and every day there are tons of e-mail messages in my box. 9 out of 10 of them are simply “Hi, look at my program.” Some make a pretense of being friendly and then go on to pitch their program. Then there’s that one rare message (actually probably 1 out of 30) that has a sincere ring of “Hey, I want to get to know you and help you out. Those same people may also offer their services, but just speaking for myself, they’re the only ones I would want to work with.
@Al Thanks for sharing your story. It just goes to prove that you cannot fake it to make it. It’s not just a matter of being polite. If they were genuinely looking to be of help to you then it will come across as such in their emails. Unfortunately as you pointed out, 9 times out of 10 that’s just not the case.
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